Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A few things to consider when contemplating divorce

Maybe someone cheated or maybe you and your spouse have simply grown apart; no matter what the circumstances, you are left contemplating a divorce.  Here are a few things to consider while you decide how you are going to handle your situation.

First, consider marriage counseling.  No matter how hurt you feel or how far apart you think you and your spouse have drifted, seeing a professional to work through those feelings together may help.  Marriage counselors will help you and your spouse work through both your feelings so that you better understand where the other person is coming from and you better understand how you really feel.  By working with a marriage counselor, you may be able to open the lines of communication between you and your spouse to work towards a better marriage.  Even if you still want a divorce after marriage counseling, you will have a better sense of your feelings and your desires.

Make it a point to focus on your children throughout the divorce.  Divorce is a painful process and may make you want to lash out and criticize your spouse in front of your children.  Think about how this will affect your children.  Think about how this will affect the relationship your children have with your spouse.  Think about how you would feel if your spouse did the same thing.  Focus on spending time with your children and ensuring they know you both still love them.  Not only is this important for your children, it will likely have positive effects on your well being and state of mind. 

Finally, try to step back and take a look at the bigger picture.  Is it worth the expense to fight your husband over the bedroom furniture set just because you want to win?  Is there a way you can work through this together so that you still have an amicable relationship?  While there are certainly times that you need to fight, consider the financial and psychological effects of fighting your spouse in court before making your decision. 

Keep these things in mind and hopefully your divorce will be a little less painful.