Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Why you may want to consider a divorce or custody settlement

Divorce and custody cases can be very emotionally, mentally and physically draining period of time.  Because of all of the emotions surrounding the division of your marriage or the amount of time you will have with your children, your first instinct is probably to fight hard and "win".

It may be beneficial to take a step back and lose the words "win", "battle", "fight" and think more in terms of solutions.  How can you get through this time and come out with a more peaceful solution for everyone involved.  And by everyone, I mean, specifically, your children.  While you are caught up in beating your ex-spouse, you may be losing sight of what's really important: the children you are "fighting" over. 

Think about how you and your ex-spouse could work together to come up with an amicable, peaceful resolution.  It will likely benefit your children to see that their parents can still work together.  Your children may not feel the need to "take sides" if they don't see the constant fighting over them.  You and your ex-spouse are probably less likely to continue "fighting" over the children in the years to come if you came to an agreement together.  You will lose a fair amount of the stress that comes along with allowing a third party stranger (i.e. a judge) decide how much time the children should spend with you and your ex-spouse.

Remember, you can be creative.  This is YOUR agreement.  You and your ex-spouse know your situation better than anyone.  You know how the logistics of any arrangement are going to play out.  You know your children better than anyone and you know what types of arrangements are going to work for them.

Everyone's case is different and because of that, it would be wise to consult with an attorney who can listen to all of the facts of your case and your circumstances and provide advice on the best way to proceed in you custody or divorce case.  Settlements are not always the best for each individual case and you should certainly not settle a case if you do not believe it is your best interest or your children's best interests.

If you would like more information or a consultation on a divorce of custody case, please contact us at (804) 447-0146 or