Wednesday, December 11, 2013

How to get through the holidays during a divorce

Everyone who is separated and going through a divorce with children  faces the major issue of making it through the holidays.  Here are a few tips to make sure your holidays are as peaceful as possible.

Agree.  If at all possible, put your emotions aside and come to a visitation/custody agreement for the holidays.  It is extremely tough, but you should do it.  Your entire family especially the children, will have a happier, more peaceful holiday season if mom and dad can come to an agreement about how to handle that season.  Focus on your children rather than your soon to be ex-spouse.

Put it in writing.  Once you've come to the agreement, put it in writing with as much detail as possible.  Include pick-up and drop-off times and locations.  Include a daily phone call with the other parent.  Include what will happen in case of an emergency. 

Be prepared for questions.  You will likely get questions from your children about why the whole family is not together on Christmas day or New Years eve.  Talk with your spouse, if at all possible, and try to agree on how you will both handle those questions.  Leave the name calling and negative comments for conversation with your mom or best friend, not in front of your children.  If you and your spouse can come across as a united front on how to handle these types of questions, it will hopefully make life a little easier for your children.

Cherish your time with your children.  If you agree that the children are with your ex-spouse on Christmas day, it may be a tough day emotionally for you.  Please don't let that interfere with the time you are with your children, like Christmas eve.  Make the moments you have your children with you special for all involved and remember those moments when your children are with the other parent.

Baudean Law, PLLC wishes you all the happiest of holidays even if you are going through a tough time.  We are happy to help you work through the details of a holiday visitation agreement.  We can be reached at or (804) 447-0146.